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X-FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE
>:-(

The Truth is out there, and it's not that great. I was very disappointed with this movie. I admit, I was looking forward to some snazzy special effects and everything, but I was also looking forward to a story that would surprise me with its intricate brilliance. The effects were there, but the story was a rehash and boring to boot.

The movie begins with a flashback to ancient Texas where a couple of bully cavemen are picking on an alien. After a bit of gore, we are then brought to the present day, where inevitably a number of innocent victims wind up soaking in oil-alien and dying horribly.

Meanwhile, we are treated to a tasteless and offensive scenario that essentially recreates the Oklahoma Bombing for our viewing pleasure. Mulder and Scully are forced to take the blame for this bombing, but Mulder figures out there is a cover-up and he whines and complains until Scully comes along to figure out who or what is behind all this. Meanwhile, the Secret Evil Government is getting sick of those two, and try their very bumble best to thwart them. The film then winds along at a snail’s pace, leaving you lots of time to notice all of the holes in the plot. The only time it does pick up is when Mulder stumbles into an alien spaceship with the style and grace of a cartoon character.

Surprisingly there wasn’t much technology to review here. We do get a quick look at Mulder’s famous geek-o-sphere, but the rest is all goo. There is a ridiculous scene where Cancer man is at the helm of the alien base working the air conditioner controls. Unfortunately for him, a bit of vaccine injected into a goo-covered Scully crashes the entire alien base's operating system. Hey Aliens.. get Norton's!

My three favorite X-Files geeks, the members of the Lone Gunman, had only bit parts, which was, to say the least, extremely disappointing. The only other geeks were just no-name technicians who worked a bit then panicked a lot.

X-Files: Fight the Future was a waste of time. You should wait until it comes out on video, or maybe not see it all. It’s that bad. It was perhaps as good as a not-very good TV episode. The problem this film had was the script was as thin as the oil slick on everyone’s eyes. A strong script is the foundation of any movie, no matter how popular the TV show is. The writers and directors of this movie seemed to just rest on their laurels and let the presence of the actors and special effects do all the work. Did they think they could toss us Geeks these cheesy cinematic tricks and that would be enough to satisfy us???

I won't even mention the really dumb "kiss" scene. Arrrggg!


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